really?

More spotting. It seems to be happening just in the morning. It is really enough to make me crazy. I again will play it by ear today and see what happens as the day goes on. Hopefully nothing and hopefully nothing will happen over the weekend either. I go for another sonogram on Monday, it seems like it is so far away.

I had therapy yesterday and my therapist was asking me about projection. Have I been thinking of things way in the future. I thought about it and realized I definitely have not been, I told her, I am not even sure I am going to get there yet. It is so difficult to feel this way while pregnant. I want to think the best, but I know what can happen. The reality of the situation is that anything can happen at any time. That scares the crap out of me. I think all things considered I really am doing the best that I can. I have my moments of meltdown but really, who wouldn't. I have been through so much since January and as much as this is a "happy" thing it is something else that I have to get through, we have to get through. I know I am not alone through this.

John has been amazing. Truly letting me take it easy and doing the best that he can with everything. It is nice not to worry about stuff. I truly appreciate all that he does. He has been there for me when I need him and even though he has been crazy at work he is doing his very best to be here for me.

We will get through this together, the good, the bad and the ugly, I can't do it without him.