Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Moment from our day

He is getting sweeter by the minute!

Thursday, August 6, 2009


I am absorbing the news from the doctor and I will be honest, I am just scared. I am glad that he is laying it all out on the table now, early in my pregnancy. These are the things that can happen, this is what I am concerned about.

I think incompetent cervix and I see my body not holding this baby until it needs to. I do not want to go through that again. I know the doctor will do whatever he can to prevent it.

I hear, preterm labor, and I think, I have been through that without knowing it. I thought it was my fibroid when really it was a combination of the fibroid and preterm labor. In retrospect John realized that my pains were coming in intervals, we didn't think about it at the time. It all happened within a matter of hours. I do not want to do that again either.

I am going to the high risk doctor in a week. I am anxious to hear what they will say and how they will handle this situation. I am glad that I am going and that my doctor is being proactive in his treatment of me. He has gone over some of the options and now we need to see what the specialist says. I will do whatever it is that needs to be done to ensure that this baby can stay inside me for as long as possible which is hopefully greater than 37 weeks.

I can't even imagine myself getting to that point. I am 9 weeks and a few says right now. Each day is another triumph, but I am taking it one day, one week at a time right now. I have my ultrascreen scheduled for 3 weeks and that is about as far ahead as I can look. I have 9 weeks to go to get to that point where we lost Lia. I am not sure how it is going to go. Maybe I will have so many other things to think about and worry about, or maybe I won't. Who knows...

Please baby...stay inside, grow nice and strong, mommy and daddy can't wait to meet you!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

first prenatal visit

I went to the doctor for my first official prenatal visit yesterday. The baby is measuring just right and the heartbeat is strong. My due date is still March 9th. He has some concerns regarding my cervix being shorter than he would like. He is concerned about an incompetent cervix and preterm labor. He is sending me for a high risk consultation and sonogram to measure the length of my cervix. The doctor wants to find out if I am a good candidate for progesterone treatment as well as possibly a cervical stitch. That one he is really not sure of, but he seems like the progesterone might be a good idea. He said with the miscarriage and the surgery those are his concerns with me. As for the fibroid, which is what freaked me out, he is not too concerned, but will monitor it. He said it is in a location that should not interfere with the pregnancy.

I am pretty nervous, but I know that he is doing everything that he can. I go back in three weeks for an appointment and the ultrascreen sonogram that tests for down syndrome. Hopefully I will get into the high risk place soon and I have to go for bloodwork today, but that is just the routine testing.

I go next week for the high risk consult. I am nervous, and anxious.

Friday, July 31, 2009


Today was an uneventful day. I tend to like them. I was supposed to have my first prenatal visit today, but it got rescheduled until Tuesday. I now know that he has an emergency c-section to perform today and was not going away for the weekend. That makes me feel slightly better.

The spotting seems to have subsided. There was nothing there today and that really helps to put my mind at ease. It is so nice when there is nothing going on. I am feeling well, the only real "symptom" that I have is sore boobs. No morning sickness, but I didn't have it last time either.

It is so nice to not be working through the first trimester. With Lia, I was working and remember being much more tired than I am now. I am tired, but not like I was. It is so nice to not have to worry about getting up 4-5 times a night and just be able to fall back asleep.

I have been thinking about Lia often. I wonder if she sent this new baby, if she picked this new baby out for us. Maybe she has already seen this little babies soul and thought that this child would be perfect for her mommy and daddy. I just pray that this baby will stay with us and grow strong and become our child here on earth. John and I will be such great parents. The two of us want nothing more right now. I feel that this is going to be a long seven months, but I hope that it goes by quickly.

I am trying not to look too far into the future right now. I am trying to take it one day at a time, I just look forward to my next appointment. Right now I don't know when I am having another sonogram and that is killing me a little bit. I am hoping the doctor may do one in the office on Tuesday, but I honestly have no idea. I am so anxious to see what he has planned for me and how he will monitor this pregnancy.

It seems that all is going well so far. I hope that it continues.

The Secret Garden Meeting

How do you see or imagine your baby/ies now that you do not have them with you?

I picture Lia Rose in heaven playing with my grandmother. I always picture them together when I think about Lia Rose. I think that it is comforting to know that my grandma is there with her. I picture a younger grandmother with Lia Rose as maybe a 4 or 5 year old with dark curly hair like me and blue eyes like her daddy. When I find my pennies from heaven I think of the two of them playing a game and seeing who can put them in the best spots. It comforts me to think of them in this way.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

seems like it is stopping

The spotting seems to be stopping for the most part. I go for my appointment tomorrow and am very curious as to what the doctor will say. I have my list of questions and I will take it from there....

Monday, July 27, 2009

another small triumph

Each day to me right now is a small triumph. I get through the day and I am one day closer to the ultimate goal. We went for another sonogram today. We have a tadpole. The baby measured 8 weeks and I am 7 weeks 6 days and the heartbeat was 163. It is a relief each time I go and get to hear and see that heartbeat. I go to the doctor on Friday and am anxious to hear what he has to say.

I am still having some slight spotting. We'll see what happens tomorrow after this sonogram today. I am hoping for not much...I guess we will have to wait and see.